A Half Hearted Engagement
by rosieweasley89
Summary: Bella is now 23 years old and still living with Charlie in Forks. Set after Twilight, if New Moon didn't occur.
1. New Life

I looked up from the sketch I had been working on; only to see that Edward's fate was merely inches away from mine. He smiled.

"What could possibly be the inspiration behind this, Bella?" Of course, he should know by now that _he _was my inspiration. The most beautiful being I'd ever seen, in all of my seventeen years. How could he not be the source of my artwork?

The sun was high, over a glittering lake and whispering meadow, the time I had first truly seen him in his entirety. Ms. Tennenbaum, Forks High's art teacher, would say that I had promise. If she only knew exactly where this memory had come from.

"Edward?" I asked.

"Yes, my love?"

"How many kisses would I have to give you in order for you to take me to see Alice?"

"But of course, Bella, you realize that, with only one wrong move, I could kill you?" This question had become more of a joke between us, as many times as we'd kissed before. Of course, Edward _was _truly dangerous for me. He was a vampire, of course. A beautiful, smart, eccentric, majestic and loving vampire.

I pushed my drawing of the meadow aside, beckoning Edward to come closer. He obliged, giving me the sweetest kiss a girl could ever have.

* *

After remembering that moment from so many years ago, I felt a small twitch of pain. It hurt recollecting those three years we'd spent together, only to end in agony. I needed to get back to my work. Jacob had been threatening to return my laptop if I failed to make any progress with my project. His recently purchased auto repair shop needed a whole new interior design, and since art was my best subject in high school, Jacob had recruited me to layout a plan. Of course, old reliable Bella had agreed, and here I was, going through my old paintings and sketches from high school. I had wanted some motivation for the project, and I figured that my seasoned artwork was the best bet.

Unknowingly, I had stumbled across the picture I had created from the early spring of eleventh grade. It was the picture of the meeting in the meadow where Edward had shown me that he truly was a vampire. How times had changed. I had been a shy, clumsy girl in awe of newfound love. Now I was still a shy, clumsy girl, but instead of being in awe of love, I ran from the mere idea of exposing my inner feelings to another person ever again.

Broken with the past, I decided to put away the artwork for now. I went over to the window and looked out. Of course the weather was dreary; it was November in Forks, after all. Luckily, the sky had decided to hold off the rain for another day. I grabbed my jacket and put on my sneakers, then stepped outside.

I find it much easier to think about things when I am out in nature. The forest has always been a special place to collect my thoughts and contemplate on life. Of course, there were many dark memories of this place, which were too hard to forget. For one, although I had long since forgiven Edward for his lapse in judgment, it wasn't something that I could forget so easily.

As I walked deeper into the woods, I thought of something Alice had told me when we had met up for lunch a few weeks ago. She reminded me that not long after my nineteenth birthday, I had been awarded first place in Peninsula College's art show. Alice was reminiscing of a time when I had been much happier. A time before the ultimate betrayal occurred.

Only Alice would be able to find something good out of the worst cataclysm of my life, the period where I lost my beloved. The era of my greatest sorrow. The day Edward killed himself.

* *

I must have lost track of time in the woods, as I heard Jacob's frantic voice upon answering my cell phone.

"Bella! Is everything all right? You were supposed to meet me for lunch at one o'clock," he exclaimed.

"Oh, Jake, I'm very sorry. I went off for a stroll at around eleven-thirty. I must have lost track of time," I confessed.

"It's okay, Bella. I'm just content that you're safe. Don't worry about the blueprints. We can work more on them this weekend."

"I apologize. I truly meant to make some progress."

"You don't have to apologize, Bella. I understand…Would you like to go out for dinner tonight? If you're out of the woods, that is." I couldn't help but smile after that remark.

"Certainly, Jacob. I'd love to have dinner tonight. Where were you thinking?" "Actually, there's a new German restaurant in Port Angeles. I sort of promised Embry I'd go. He's bringing Serena." Not a double date. Please, anything but that. I'd had enough embarrassment this past Valentine's Day, when Alice had set up a special rendezvous between her new neighbor and I. Much to my chagrin, it hadn't ended well. After learning that I was, as one would say, "damaged goods", my date ran off with a local model, leaving me to pay the bill.

"Well, I was sort of hoping that we could go somewhere a little more private. Like the diner."

"I suppose I could cancel with Embry. I'll tell him I have too much work at the shop to go out tonight."

"Thanks, Jake."

"Be ready at seven, Bella. Call if you're running late," he told me.

"See you later, Jacob." I hung up my phone. I started walking towards home. After walking a few minutes, I spotted a single chrysanthemum. Edward's favorite flower. A single tear ran down my cheek. I brushed it away, not wanting to remember.

I couldn't bear seeing the beautiful plant here, all alone. It seemed so out of place. Like me, Bella Swan, in a little town called Forks, in the middle of nowhere. In all these six years, I'd never gotten too used to Forks. Yes, it may have been the right place at the right time, but it was my home away from home. I was never able to finish college after the tragedy with my Edward. I thought of moving away after the misfortune, but I couldn't bear to leave my father, nor Jacob, nor Alice. If it were not for Charlie acquiring a job at the Thriftway for me, I would have had no solid ground to fall back on.

Reaching the edge of the woods, I stopped for a moment. In three years time, how can so many things disappear from your life? Maybe I had pushed myself too much in my time with Edward. I had felt he was so perfect. Yet, he couldn't live up to my expectations no matter how hard he tried.

I entered the house I had shared with Charlie for the past six years. I plopped back into the easy chair, and turned the television on. Of course, the news was always the same-more animals disappearing into near extinction. I couldn't watch. I only sat in front of the screen and waited for Jacob to make his appearance. After all, how much longer could I focus on the reasons for Edward's self-death without blaming myself? I just couldn't carry the weight of his decision for all of eternity.

It was time for me to move on to better and bigger things than the morose vampire. I could take a chance at a new life, one better than the broken one I had been living for the last three years. I would become someone better than I had ever been before.


	2. Rejuvenation

_I'd fallen asleep after that walk in the woods. Having too much time to reflect upon past events can really tire a person. When I awoke, it was nearly seven. Rising from the chair, I knew that I would have to rush to get ready for dinner with Jacob. It was a very good thing indeed that Jacob wasn't much for appearances. I supposed he felt inner beauty triumphed over all. Lucky him._

_Jacob arrived on time, as always. As Charlie and I usually leave the front door unlocked, Jacob entered the foyer without knocking. _

"_Your chariot is ready, m'lady," he announced. I strolled to meet him, grabbing my jacket along the way._

_Jacob jumped down the front steps. I uneasily followed, careful not to stumble and rip my jeans. The "new" Chevette he bought from a customer was freshly painted dark blue. It suited Jacob well. Jacob opened the passenger side door for me, and I obligingly entered the vehicle. _

"_You look amazing, Bella," he remarked. __This old thing? _I thought. I was wearing jeans and an older long-sleeved purple Henley. Of course, it was one of my favorite shirts, so it must have rubbed off on me somehow. 

"Thank you," I replied. I tried to concentrate on what I would order for dinner, but I couldn't stop trying to search Jacob's face. He was virtually unreadable tonight. Jacob didn't appear to be overly thrilled to be taking me out, nor upset in any way. Possibly he was worried about our project.

"Jake? If you need the blueprints for the shop finished earlier, I can get them done," I told him. No answer. 

"Jacob? Did you hear me?" He didn't respond. 

"Are you okay?" I was beginning to feel concerned. Why wasn't Jacob acting normally? 

Jacob suddenly pulled off of the road, into a clearing. He sighed. 

"Bella, the reason I asked you out tonight wasn't just for dinner," he expressed.

"Yes?"

"The thing is, I've been having these visions. Strange visions," Jacob revealed. "I've never experienced the like ever before."

"I don't understand, Jacob. What are you trying to tell me?" At this point, I was becoming extremely irritated with him. 

"Bella, please believe me. I hope you do." He looked away for a brief moment, and then took my hand. "Bella, this is extremely hard to say."

"Just tell me, Jake. I want to know," I stated.

"I've been having visions," he repeated. "Visions about you-…and me. Bella, I believe these visions are from Edward. He wants us to be together." For a moment, I couldn't respond. Maybe I heard wrong.

"That's impossible, Jacob. Edward's…he's…he-"

"I know he's dead, Bella. But I also know that he's been sending these visions to me," Jacob maintained. 

"Just stop. You're imagining them. It's not possible." How could Edward be sending Jacob visions when he was no longer alive?

"Bella, I swear-"

"No! It's not possible," I repeated.

"Bella, I know it seems crazy, but it's real. Edward wants this." Jacob shook my hand to emphasize his point. "It's okay. He _wants_ us to be together." 

I'd had enough. I yanked my hand away from Jacob's grasp. "Take me home. Now."

"What about dinner?" Jacob was upset, but he deserved to be.

"Dinner is cancelled." I snapped. 

After fumbling with his seatbelt, Jacob fiercely turned the ignition. His Chevette roared to life. Dramatically, Jacob spun the car around, tires squealing. It was a silent drive back to the Swan home. I knew Charlie would wonder why Jacob was driving so erratically. 'Maniacally,' he'd say. 'Young people must learn to abide by common driving knowledge.'

As Jacob had been driving 20 miles over the speed limit, we reached home in record time. Upon arrival, Jacob did not turn off the Chevette. I didn't expect him to. While I unbuckled my seatbelt and prepared to get out of the car, I took one last glance at Jacob. He was livid. As I left Jacob's vehicle, he rocketed out of the driveway. 

When I came inside, Charlie was talking on the telephone. 

"Just a minute, Billy," he told his longtime friend. "Why are you home so early, Bella? I thought that you and Jake had gone to Port Angeles?"

"Change of plans," I replied. I must not have appeared too convincing, but Charlie didn't say anything more. Of course, he would tell Billy, Billy would ask Jacob, and Jacob would be even more upset with me. Then again, I was awful angry with him myself. What right did he have to bring something so painful back into my conscious on what could have been a menial, possibly even entertaining dinner?

I decided to heat up a bowl of oatmeal. Not typical evening fare, no, but I needed something warm and comforting. I was careful to add just the right amount of milk and brown sugar. While my oatmeal was heating up in the microwave, I spotted something from Peninsula College lying on the counter. I grabbed the sheet of paper to take a closer look. It was an ad for an art contest. Well, maybe in previous years, I may have accepted the challenge, but not now. An art contest would bring back too many hurtful memories from the past. Why would Charlie pick this up? Surely he wasn't thinking of entering.

The timer on the microwave beeped. I took my oatmeal out and sat down to eat. I finished the cereal and left the kitchen quickly, not wanting to answer any more of Charlie's questions. After reaching my bedroom, I decided to that I would turn in for the night. Sleep would be good, I could reflect on Jacob's news. Why would he lie about a thing like that? Jake had known my strife in the incident, as I still referred to Edward's untimely death. I couldn't bear speaking of it; I could hardly handle just thinking about it. 

I used some bathroom time before Charlie would need to take a shower. Then, I snuggled into my bedcovers, to enter a deep slumber. 

* *

It was unusually bright for this time of year. The sun was shining high in the sky-its yellow gleam reflecting off of the pond. I did not recognize this area. I wanted to discover more of this beautiful place. Neighboring the pond was a whispering willow. It seemed to speak to me. 

"Bella." _How wonderful_, I thought. 

"Bella," another voice called. _Hmm, maybe someone is looking for me? _I turned around, but no one was there. 

"Bella," I heard again. What could this mystery be? I started walking deeper into the meadow. Spotting some trees, I decided to sit down and rest. 

"Bella." This time the voice was closer. I turned around to see a beautiful man standing there. He was pale as snow, and his hair was like fire. I knew where I had found myself-Edward's meadow.

"Edward?" I gasped. His lovely face lit up with a smile at hearing my voice. 

"Bella, follow me," he requested. I obliged. We walked a small path past the meadow, into the woods. He stopped.

"Edward? I thought you were-"

"Of course I am. But, there were too many things left unsettled," he stated.

"What do you mean, Edward?" I was puzzled.

"You've been in pain far too long, Bella. It hurts me to see you suffering as you are." 

"I needed you, Edward. I still do. Why-"

"There's no time for regrets, Bella. What's done is done. I came here to let you know that it's okay to move on," he told me.

"Move on?" I questioned.

"Bella, you mustn't concern yourself with events not under your control. Jacob, he is there for you now. He cares for you more than you'll ever know. Give him a chance to love you. Give me a chance." He was speaking as I'd never heard him speak before. It was unsettling, erratic even.

"I don't understand, Edward," I remarked.

"Silly Bella, it's really all that simple. Accept Jacob as you once accepted me. Let him take care of you. Once and for all, let yourself _live_." Edward had a slightly unnerving smile on his face. He gazed at me for a moment, then turned around and began to walk in the opposite direction.

"Edward? Don't leave. Please!" I tried to follow, but his vampire speed made the attempt useless.

"Edward!" I cried, tears streaming down my face. "Edward! Don't leave me again!" I fell to my knees, letting the sorrowful sobs take over. 

"Bella!"

"Edward?" I hoped.

"Bella! Wake up! You're having a nightmare," I heard from somewhere far away. Suddenly, I was being violently shaken. I groggily opened my eyes to see Charlie hovering over me.

"Edward. Where's Edward?" I demanded.

"Bella, Edward's dead. You know that. You must have been dreaming," Charlie answered.

"He's gone?" I started to sob even harder. Charlie must have held me for hours, supporting me until I fell back into a dreamless sleep.

* *

In the past, I'd always been a bit guarded. I supposed that was why I was so worried about explaining my dream to anyone. It was an eerie coincidence that Jacob had had a similar dream (or claimed to). I knew I'd have to apologize for my reaction, so I decided to invite Jacob over for dinner after work. I would make his favorites, pot roast with wild mushrooms and new potatoes. It was a Black family recipe, but Charlie had acquired it from Billy a few years ago. 

I took a shower and got dressed for work. The day seemed to fly by. On my lunch break, I bought the roast, potatoes and mushrooms. I also picked out a delicious looking cheesecake, since Charlie had a fondness for the dessert. He could have our leftovers after returning from Seattle that night. 

Four o'clock came by quickly. I packed my things and drove home. I put the food in the oven, setting the timer for 2 ½ hours. Then, I sat down with my laptop and worked until it was time to take the roast out of the oven. Jacob would be very happy to learn that I'd made some progress on our project.

Jacob arrived at seven o'clock. He didn't have to announce himself, as I had been waiting near the door for the last half an hour.

"Hi, Bella," he said, fidgeting with his sweater. 

"Come in." I requested. He followed me into the dining room. After seeing his delight with the course selection, I knew that it would be much easier to discuss the pressing matter with him. We sat down, but neither of us started to eat. There were too many important things on my mind; most likely Jacob had matters to discuss as well.

"Jacob?" I asked.

"Yes, Bella?" he replied, with his mouth full.

"I need to apologize for last night. I was so upset, but I shouldn't have reacted so rudely," I told him. He smiled, having cooled off from our argument.

"I've been thinking about you all night, Bella," Jacob said.

"Me too. I've got to tell you something."

"Go ahead. I've always got an ear to listen," he confided.

"Well, I know we didn't have the best goodbye last night. After you told me about your vision, I was very confused. But then, last night, I had one of my own," I divulged.

"What exactly do you mean, Bella?" Jacob wondered.

"It was in the meadow-Edward's meadow. He seemed so real. He told me to forget about him," I answered.

"That sounds nearly like mine," he replied. "Edward told me that it was okay for us to take a chance. He wouldn't be angry with either of us."

"Of course," I nodded. I began to eat as well.

"Bella, you've been my best friend since I was sixteen years old. I've seen you through so many trials. Won't you give me the chance to truly support you?" Jacob implored.

"By that, you mean..?" I wondered. Jacob got out of his chair and came over to me.

"Stand up, Bella." I obliged. He took my hand in his, as he had done in the car last night. "Bella. Isabella Marie Swan, would you do me the honor of being my girlfriend?" 

I exhaled. I couldn't seem to answer right away. I knew that Edward had proclaimed that this would be right, but I was still a bit doubtful.

"Please, Bella?" Jacob repeated. "I promise never to hurt you. We can have many great things together." He looked deep into my eyes. "Please?" he added. 

My thoughts were muddled. Here was this boy I'd know nearly my whole life, who'd been there for me through thick and thin. Yet, my heart still held the love of another. What would I do?

"I've got to think, Jacob. Not that I wouldn't want to be," I confessed, "I just need a little time to sort out my feelings."

"Take as long as you like, Bella. I'll always be there for you, no matter what. I only would like to be more for you," he told me. We both sat back down and continued eating. After Jacob had finished his dinner, I brought out the cheesecake. Luckily, I had put aside a piece for Charlie, as Jacob ate nearly the whole pie. 

"Delicious, Bella. I haven't had a good meal like that in months. It stinks being a bachelor sometimes," he remarked.

"It was all my pleasure," I smiled. At that moment, Charlie arrived.

"Hello, Jacob. Bella," he said, giving me a curious look. I knew that I'd have more than a few questions to answer later, but I was prepared. Charlie went upstairs to take a shower, so Jacob and I were alone again. I brought my laptop over to the table, to show Jacob my work. He was pleased. 

"This is great, Bella. I'm sure Embry will love it as well." Embry was Jacob's business partner. His family had invested a lot of money in the shop. If it weren't for Embry, Jacob probably would still be working for Sue Clearwater. He was ashamed to say that he did housekeeping work for the Clearwaters, but he was very competent, and had decent pay. 

Jacob had to meet a customer early the next morning, so he left after he had finished eating. Not before departing, though, he was sure to give me a hug. He had a strong embrace that lasted for well over a minute. 

"Good night, Bella," he said, right before leaning in.


	3. Awakening

_The last few days had been void of all feeling. I had mostly concentrated on my job and avoiding all other people, Charlie included. After pushing Jacob away, and running upstairs to escape my emotions, I'm sure that he was angry with me, since I hadn't heard from him at all. I suppose that I couldn't blame him, after he'd been so vulnerable with me. Why couldn't I just take Edward's advice to heart? Maybe it was impossible, as he'd strewn me wrong before. _

_I went through another day of numbness. Work was humdrum. I expected to go home and be left to my senses. Unfortunately, for the first time in his career, Charlie had arrived home __early_. I hoped that he would mind his business, as usual, but that wasn't the case. 

"Good evening, Bella," he greeted me with.

"Hi, Dad," I responded.

"So, I decided that maybe we could have dinner together tonight. At the diner," Charlie remarked. I could tell that Charlie had had his heart set on eating dinner with me. I supposed it wouldn't hurt, if he absolutely wanted me to go to the diner with him. 

"Sounds good," I replied. I was disappointed. I presumed that I wasn't allowed to be alone tonight. I hurried up the stairs to my room, to change clothes. Dinner alone with Charlie. Of course, if he had wanted to eat here, I could cook something. That wouldn't be as bad as going out, where there was no way to avoid conversation.

* *

After we had been seated, Charlie announced that he had to use the restroom. When a few minutes had passed, I began to wonder if he was okay. I was ready to ask a waiter to check on him, when the last person I thought I'd see appeared at my table. 

"Bella," Jacob uttered. I looked up in surprise. 

"I told Charlie to bring you here tonight," Jacob explained. "We need to talk." 

I hung my head in shame, a rush of guilt flooding over me. 

"I'm sorry, Jake. It's just, well, the other night…" I trailed off.

"Bella, all that matters is that we're together. If you're not ready for other things, I understand. I just want to be with you," he admitted. 

He really had me. I had hoped that I wouldn't start to cry, but it was too late. Jacob reached over and wiped my eye. 

"Could you-would you…give me a chance, Bella?" I couldn't bear seeing Jacob so miserable. 

I knew at that point, something would have to give. Having both Edward and Jacob just wasn't possible. As much as it hurt to admit it, there really was no choice to make. Edward was gone. 

"Jacob," I replied, shutting my eyes, "I've made my decision. I guess…I could give you a chance." I opened my eyes at that moment, to view his reaction. He was grinning from ear to ear.

"You've made me so happy, Bella," Jacob responded. "I promise I'll never, ever hurt you. No matter what, okay?" He glanced at me, to which I gave a small smile. 

"Now, let's order. I'm starving!" he exclaimed.

Jacob ate more slowly than was usual for him, I suppose, to keep pace with me. While we were eating, he reached under the table and caressed my hand softly a few times. 

After we finished dinner, Jacob cleared his throat.

"Bella? Would you like a ride home?" he asked.

"Um, sure, Jake. That'd be nice, since Charlie drove me here." _And abandoned me, _I thought wryly. "Speaking of Charlie, where is he?" I wondered.

"He met Billy at Sue Clearwater's. It's Seth's birthday," Jacob replied.

"Oh," I said. "I didn't know." Seth was a nice kid. I felt sort of bad for missing his special day. "How old is he?" I asked.

"Eighteen, finally. Seth's been anxious to come and work for Embry and I, and now that he's of legal age, he can," Jacob responded.

I stood up from the booth, grabbing my jacket. Jacob paid the waitress, and we left for home. 

* *

Jacob and I pulled up to my house at around nine o'clock. He got out of the car very quickly, and came over to my door to open it. 

"Thanks, Jake," I said.

"No problem, Bella. Say, do you have anything you need to do?" he asked.

"Well, no, not really. Did you have something in mind?" I questioned. Jacob blushed a bit. 

"Mind if I come inside for a little while?" he wondered.

"Don't you need to go to Seth's party?" I asked.

"Nah, I've already given him his present. A tool set," Jacob replied. 

"In that case, sure. I could show you what I have finished so far with the blueprints," I remarked. 

Jacob and I walked up the stairs. I fished in my purse for my house key. It was nowhere to be found.

"Is there a problem, Bella?" Jacob asked me.

"I can't find my keys," I told him.

"Are you sure? I mean, your dad won't be here for a few hours probably," Jacob said.

"They must be on my desk. Crap." I was a little frustrated about forgetting my keys inside.

"Do you want me break in?" he asked.

"No, Jake, that's fine. Besides, how would it look when Chief Swan was called on his daughter breaking into their house?" I laughed. 

"You're right, Bella. But what can we do until then?" Jacob asked.

"Are you sure that _you_ don't have anything to attend to?" I asked.

"I'm positive….If you don't mind, maybe we could sit in my car and listen to music?" Jacob said. 

"I suppose that would be okay," I replied. Both of us got back in the car. Jacob reached under his seat and pulled out a folder.

"I have Paramore, Linkin Park, Metallica, Avenged Sevenfold, System of a Down-"

"Paramore is fine," I interrupted. Jacob put the CD in his player. We listened to around five songs before Jacob succumbed to being alone together. I knew when he "yawned" that he was going to stretch, and wrap his arm around my shoulders. Was I okay with that? I guess it wouldn't hurt as long as he wasn't too touchy. 

When the CD was over, Jacob moved a little closer to me.

"Bella?" he asked. 

"Yes?" I responded.

"Would you mind, I mean, do you think I could maybe…?" he drifted off.

"Would I mind if…?" I wondered.

"I wanted to know if it'd be okay for me to kiss you," Jacob asked. "You know, after the other day, I wasn't sure. You were a little freaked. 

"Yeah, I guess I was," I replied. 

Did I want to kiss him? Should I? It'd make him happy, wouldn't it? I nodded. Jacob smiled. He reached out and gently moved my face towards his before making his move. 

* *

We'd made out for about half an hour before the lights of Charlie's cruiser shone through the windows of Jacob's car. The scenario of being in the car of my date, while enamored in passion and caught by my father, made me feel like a kid again. Charlie got out of his car and came over to Jake's. He tapped on the window. 

"Bells?" he asked. Jacob opened his door.

"Bella lost her house keys so we stayed here to wait for you," Jacob insisted. 

"How was the party, Dad?" I wondered.

"It ran longer than I expected. A few of Seth's friends put on a dance competition at the last moment, and wanted me to judge," Charlie explained, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

"A _dance _contest?" Jacob scoffed. "Must have been a sight."

"Yeah, I really enjoyed seeing Harry and Sue. They loved watching the kids," Charlie said. "So, what have you two been up to? Did you get a chance to talk?"

"We had plenty of time, Dad. I was locked out, remember?" I told him.

"Of course, Bella. I suppose you'd like to come inside now. And you, Jake?" he asked.

"I'd love to, but I've got to pick up Billy," Jake replied.

"Another time, then," Charlie responded. Jacob got out of the car, walked over to my door and opened it for my retreat. 

"Bella," he said softly.

"I'll call you," I told him, as Charlie and I walked inside. 

From the look on Charlie's face when he spotted Jake and I inside his car, he knew that we had been up to more than just talking. I knew he'd probably let it go. Subjects like dating embarrassed Charlie to no end. Luckily, that meant that I had received the "sex talk" from Renée. I was sure that Charlie would be too uncomfortable to even bring up his concerns about the situation.

After I finally was able to enter my house, I walked up the stairs. Instead of going straight to bed, I posted a new entry in my anonymous blog. Really, who (or what) else could I tell my innermost personal thoughts to? 

Finishing up my entry, I decided to scan some late-night television. Normally, the only programs airing at this hour were either news or badly written sitcoms. Tonight was different. I came across a program on abnormal psychology. It seemed fairly interesting, so I lay down on my bed to watch.

The TV program concentrated on memories. I had missed the first fifteen minutes, and they were now discussing subdued, unconscious memories. I settled into my bed, instantly interested in the topic. As I viewed, I learned that the mind was unique in that it was able to repress vivid memories that a person truly did not want to remember. _I seemed to have escaped the luxury, _I thought to myself. I still had every painful memory of when Edward left me. The sound of static snapped me out of my depressive thoughts and I focused back on the television, only to see the screen had become fuzzy. I squinted through the static as the picture began to come back into focus. My mouth dropped as a face began to appear. I knew that face. It was Edward's face. 

He looked at me for a moment and then disappeared back into the fog. I looked down at the remote control in my hand and noticed that it was shaking violently. As I raised the remote to change the channel, I noticed another image coming into picture on the screen. I blinked once, terrified. As the face of Tom Cruise came into focus, I let out a sigh of relief. This quickly turned to dismay when I realized what film had decided to appear on my television screen. _Interview with the Vampire. _

I quickly shut the television off. Could I have been imagining this? It was very unlikely that I had done so. Of course, seeing a real, live, person's face in the television static (in Edward's case, he wasn't live) could spook anyone. I decided that I would sleep with the closet light on tonight. It wouldn't do any good to lock my window, as Edward's vampire state allowed him to simply go anywhere he wanted to.

What was I thinking? I was with Jacob now. Edward was no longer a part of my life. Then again, he had been such a big part of my life before. I was much too tired to think. How could I even fall asleep?

A tapping noise came from my window. I looked over, only to see two bronze-colored eyes looking back at me.


End file.
